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There’s been so much going on recently
that I’m just trying to process and figure out.
One, I’m still super nervous about my dad. He seems pretty okay with everything that is going on, but terms like permanent medical leave and permanent memory loss are still things that I can’t grasp. I know my dad is all kinds of falling apart, with his back and leg being as bad as they are, but he’s still Dad. With all this talk about memory loss and the unknown cause for all of this, I can’t help but feel stressed out and, to put it bluntly, freaked out.
Then on a much less serious issue, there’s this stupid boy. I just want to ignore you and never speak to you again. You acted like you genuinely liked me, but I know I was just a booty call. I’ve accepted that, but at the same time you continued to talk to me. Did you want to keep me around for another time? Am I bad for kind of missing you? You were the only guy that has ever called me beautiful. If only I could take that comment seriously. If only I could separate that from your pretty blatant attempt to hook up with me. Why are you everywhere I go? I can’t even get away from you and ignore you because we’re pledging the same service frat. Like really?
I am really excited for this service frat though. I love community service and this gives me the opportunity to do it here at school. I like feeling like I can help someone.
Between Alpha Phi Omega pledging, First Year Players insanity, classes, homework, orientation leader interviews, and maybe keeping up a little bit of a social life, I am certainly going to be busy this semester. This is exactly what I need. I need to be insanely busy, where I start to just go through the motions and I am so tired I just fall asleep at night. That way I don’t have the energy to think. I don’t have the time to dwell. Then everything that has just been eating at me will just go away for a while.
Then, I will have peace of mind…maybe
